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Mourning a Loved One

 
 
Our clergy is available to guide and assist you by providing comfort and support in this most difficult time. Our clergy will meet with you and your family to begin the process of memory by reflecting on the life of your loved one. In addition, our clergy will answer your questions pertaining to the Jewish laws and customs of mourning.
 
Here are some initial guidelines: 
  • Burial, the body of the deceased must be prepared for burial with special rites known as taharah (purification). Most Jewish funeral homes provide this sacred service. After the taharah, the deceased is clothed in linen shrouds. Since all are equal in death, all are dressed the same way. Males are also cloaked with a tallit. The funeral homes can arrange for burial at any Jewish cemetery. ​
  • Burial Plots at Lakeside Memorial Park:Jewish tradition is for funerals to be held as soon as possible. Planning ahead alleviates unnecessary stress and expense for family members at this most difficult time. Purchasing a burial plot from ATJC provides protection against inflation at well under current market values. Plots are available through ATJC, please contact  the synagogue office for further information. 
  • ​​Shiva: The First Seven Days: Once the funeral and burial are complete, a mourner enters the period of shiva, the seven days following the funeral. Services are traditionally held in one's home, by our clergy. Family, friends, and community members visit to perform the mitzvah of nichum avelim, "comforting the mourners." Mourner's Kaddish is recited for a period of eleven months by the immediate relatives of the deceased: husband/wife, mother/father, sister/brother, and son/daughter. In-laws may also recite Mourner's Kaddish.
  • Shloshim: Thirty Days: After shiva is concluded, some of the structure and prohibitions from the seven-day period remain in place for thirty days following the funeral. Joyful and celebratory occasions and activities continue to be avoided.
  • Eleven Months: For those mourning a parent, some of the same mourning practices continue. It is appropriate to continue to attend a minyan in order to say kaddish. Click on Service Schedule  for the schedule of our daily service times.  If you cannot attend daily minyan, you may choose to have us recite Kaddish in  your absence.
  • Yahrzeit: It is a religious tradition to say kaddish on the yahrzeit, "anniversary of the death," of a relative, according to the Jewish calendar. ATJC maintains a list of the yahrzeits of family members. If you would like a reminder sent by mail, please contact us.
  • Yizkor: Four times a year, on Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret, the eighth day of Pesach, and the second day of Shavuot, we recite a service of memory as part of the holiday service, click on Calendar/Holiday for dates of Yizkor. This is an opportunity to recite kaddish, as well as the traditional prayers of memory.
Tue, December 10 2019 12 Kislev 5780